Hamish's+Poetic+Writing


 * __Anger__**

Husband of Jealousy and father of Mischief, Anger is not the kind of person you would want to be friends with. In his heart he has a burning desire to destroy all of his enemies. Always found in dark clothes, Anger will give an evil look to anyone who comes near him. His hair is fiery red and always shaped into a weapon of some sort. A smile is never found on Anger’s face, and he has burning hatred in his heart. When he is in town his burning red eyes dart to and fro, watching, searching for a victim to attack. A dark shadow is cast wherever he walks.

Anger is an only child. He wasn’t always though. When he was three years old, Anger’s older brother, Hatred, tried to bungee jump off of the Auckland Harbour Bridge but got hit by a car that had crashed into the barrier and gone flying. Anger’s father was abusive to him, so he ran away when he was only twelve. He doesn’t remember having any mother at all.

Anger has been sacked from six jobs and is on his final warning for his current job at the dump. He was first sacked and sent to court for assault on a customer when working at Woolworths. Twice he has been sacked from the Warehouse for swearing at a customer (his 2nd and 4th jobs). The 3rd job Anger was sacked from was at KFC. He poured hot, deep-fried batter all over a customers head because the customer complained that he got Sweet & Sour sauce instead of BBQ. Anger has also been sacked from the Air New Zealand airline for pouring hot coffee down a passenger’s pants. Finally, he has been sacked from Robert Harris for throwing a tantrum, destroying the coffee machine and refusing to pay for it.

Spitefulness is Anger’s best friend, although he is still cautious. Together they have been fired from 8 jobs and assaulted twelve people. Spitefulness has been sent to jail twice, while Anger has been sent to jail three times and just narrowly escaped a life sentence. If you value your life, try to stay away from Anger.

**__Cluelessness__**

Cluelessness is the son of Confusion and Stupidity. Surprisingly, his brother is Knowledge and his sister is Intelligence. He has long, messy hair as he often forgets to brush it and when he does not have someone to tell him how to work the shower, he will just stand there, dumbfounded by the design of the tap and wondering how it works. Because of this he is often very dirty. Cluelessness will often be seen wearing his clothes on back-to-front and inside out. When he is around his friends, Cheekiness, Boredom and Paranoia; he seems even more clueless about everything than usual.

Apart from the annual idea which comes around some time between May and July, Cluelessness will almost always be found with a blank look on his face. He can also be sometimes found trying to look smart by looking at a picture book. When he doesn’t have a blank look or isn’t looking at a picture book, Cluelessness can be found with an actual novel, although you will notice that it is either back-to-front or upside down.

When he is shopping, Cluelessness needs to have his friends with him to tell him what things are and if he can afford them or not. A lot of the time he cannot afford much as he often forgets to go to work. If he is not buying things at a shop he will sometimes have Intelligence over to help him shop online.

Very surprising to be coming from Cluelessness, he has a dream job. Even more surprising, it is to be the president of the United States. Not so surprisingly, he has no back-up plan and will probably end up living at his brother’s house for the rest of his life, wondering why he didn’t become president.

 __**Spitefulness**__ Spitefulness can be very mean and nasty when he wants to and that is a lot of the time. He has spiky hair and due to a disease called Fangioitos, which made his upper canines grow five times the size they were supposed to, he has fangs. Spitefulness is never seen in town or around anyone willingly unless he is buying more supplies for his practical jokes, as he is very sly and secretive. He can usually be found hiding in a tree, although it is an appalling place to spring out on people or drop a water balloon, or sometimes in the gutter as no one his will take his family in.

Spitefulness’s birth parents were Anger and Jealousy, but they died horribly in a huge car crash. Rumour has it that no one turned up to their cremation, not even the cremator. Spitefulness’s brother, Annoyance went to stay at the orphanage, but Spitefulness was adopted before he had even been there a week. His new family, Loneliness, Depression and his new sister, Playful, are very poor and live in the gutter. He hates them.

Spitefulness’s best friends are Cluelessness, Dreariness and Bad Luck. When he is around them he is extra mean as he pulls even more pranks than usual on the weakest kid in school, Defenceless. Spitefulness’s dream job is to own the country’s best practical joke store. He wants to make millions of dollars off of his own original pranks as well as thousands off of pranks he learnt from his birth father.

