Erin+Opinion+Writing

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**__The smacking law in New Zealand__**
 A smack is when someone hits another person with their hand. It is a way to discipline children it is also a way to stop bad behaviour and is most commonly used by a parent or caregiver. A hard smack may seriously hurt a child if done with enough force by an adult and may even put the child in hospital. Sue Bradford, from the Green party in government, introduced the smacking law to New Zealand in June of 2007. Because a smack is purposely inflicting pain on an adolescent, it is currently against the law In New Zealand and I agree with it. Even though there is now a referendum, the government won’t change the law, it is just to get an idea of what the people of New Zealand think. The question is; ‘should a smack as part of good parental correction be a criminal offence in New Zealand?’

My first reason why I agree with the law is that I think children should be able to have the right to feel safe in their home without a threat of violence. Children should have the same protection offered to them as adults have; the choice to say no, a safe environment where they are not being abused or hit, just a place to feel safe. Parents do not have the right to hurt children just because they are bigger and stronger than them and I’m glad that it is a criminal offence here.

My next reason is that Smacking is harmful to children, not only physically but mentally as well. Many children have been mentally broken by abuse and some have been totally traumatized by it. It belittles them and breaks their confidence making them more vulnerable to bullying. This may even open up windows to children such as suicide. More kids are being murdered from the effects of child abuse and from it going too far and more children are being exposed to smacking as society grows and it’s just killing more adolescents. The World is not learning from its mistakes.

Lastly, I think that smacking smacking should be illegal because it gives children no reason to behave well. Little children don’t understand what it means and are more likely to carry on the bad behaviour because a smack doesn’t tell them or make them aware of what they have done wrong, so, they end up confused and unsure of what to do. Children become hesitant and don’t understand why they are being hit and start to wonder if their parents don’t like them, then think about running away and suicide and the hole thing just spirals even more out of control.

In conclusion, I think that smacking should be illegal because it causes pain, makes kids feel unsafe and doesn’t even work. As I said earlier, too many kids are dying and not much is being done about it, if the law stays, more lives will be saved and more criminals will be stopped and put in jail.   || || ** Argument Criteria ** || ||  || **1 - Beginning** **2 - Developing** || **3 - Proficient** || ** Introduction ** || I do not have an opening statement, OR: The problem is missing from the introduction. My opening does not get the audience's attention. || I have an opening statement that states the problem. My opening may get the audience's attention. || I have a strong opening statement that clearly states the problem. My opening grabs the audience's attention and causes an emotional response. || ** Voice/Passion ** || Passion is missing from my argument. My writing does not hold the audience's attention. There is no evidence of enthusiasm. || The passion of my argument gets the audience's attention at times. My enthusiasm is evident at times. || The passion of my argument draws the audience in and keeps their attention. My enthusiasm is evident throughout the piece. || ** Supporting Argument(s) ** || The reasons in support of my argument are not convincing, don't support it or are irrelevant. || I give reasons in support of the argument but I don't give evidence or examples. || I give clear and accurate reasons, and evidence in support of the argument || ** Opposing Argument(s) ** || I do not mention or address opposing arguments, OR: I mention opposing arguments, but do not dispute them. The audience is left with many questions. || I mention opposing arguments and attempt to dispute them, although the audience may be left with a few questions. || I have identified opposing arguments and shown their weakness. Most of my audience's questions have been answered. || ** Reasons and Evidence ** || I give reasons, but do not support them with evidence (facts, examples, explanations, and anecdotes). Some of my reasons are unconvincing. || I give reasons for my opinion and support some of them with evidence (relevant facts, examples, explanations, and/or anecdotes). My reasoning is logical enough to persuade some of the audience. || I give convincing reasons for my opinion and effectively support them with evidence (significant facts, examples, explanations, and anecdotes). My reasons are so logical that my audience will be persuaded. || ** Conclusion ** || There is no conclusion, OR: In my concluding paragraph, I did not attempt to move the audience to action or change their minds. The conclusion does not pull the pieces of my argument together. My final sentence has no impact on the audience. || In my concluding paragraph, I have attempted to move the audience to action or change their minds; some are convinced. The conclusion pulls some pieces of my argument together. My final sentence may affect the audience and leaves some thinking. || I have a strong concluding paragraph that either moves the audience to action or changes their minds; most are convinced. The conclusion pulls all the pieces of my argument together. My powerful final sentence impacts the audience and leaves them thinking. || ** Word Choice & Sentences ** || I have made no / little attempt to use transition words to introduce each point. Sentences need reworking to make complete sense to the reader. || I have attempted to use some transition words. Some variety in sentence beginnings and length has been used. || I have used a variety of effective transition words and phrases. Sentences vary in length and varied sentence beginnings have been used. || ** Mechanics ** || Frequent mistakes interfere with the message of this piece of writing. || There are more than a couple of minor errors. || Mainly error free work. || Teacher Comment: What happened. This is not a debate discussion. You have not given at least two points for each side of the argument. You had done this in your draft but the final copy is missing paragraphs. Also why have you written another argument on smacking – this was not on the list of given topics for this task. ||



Reflection; I think that I did well on this argument, but I think that I could have made my point and my paragraphs clearer. I also think that I could have picked a better topic to do my argument on.



Did you know that approximately 1,654,545 animals die each year from animal cruelty? That’s 4533 a day and 75 a minute. Animals are dying from cruelty such as; Animal testing, Pig farming, battery farming, dog fighting and domestic violence. Too many animals are dying from this and it’s GOT TO STOP! Animals have feelings too and they are not meant to be treated like this. One of the main causes of animal cruelty is testing. Animal testing is when scientists use animals to test products on that may not be suitable for human use yet. The most common animals to be used for this are rats and mice are used mainly because they breed easy and are vermin and no-one really cares about them. It is estimated that 20 million rats and mice die a year from animal testing. Most people think that it doesn’t concern them or that these animals don’t have feelings and that they are just vermin and we should get rid of them and kill them. Another two forms of animal cruelty are Pig farming and battery farming. Pig farming is where pigs are squashed into a tiny cage with no room to move or do anything. These pigs are left to fatten up and/or produce piglets that face the same fate. New Zealand has cut back on their pig farms by half since 1990 but they are still producing about 700,000 pigs for slaughter per year. Battery farming is when hens are completely stuffed into a cage only to produce eggs and baby chickens and to get fatter and ready to be slaughtered. About two million hens die a year from this. Dog fighting is most common with pit bulls and it is when two dogs fight each other to death while their owners and other betters bet against them. Once a dog gets too old for fighting, it is then offered up as bait for other, younger dogs or, it is electrocuted and killed. About 200,000 dogs die a year from this. It is illegal but people are still doing it and more and more dogs are being killed. In conclusion, the types of animal cruelty that I have mentioned today are only a tiny amount of the animal cruelty going on today, gorillas are almost extinct from being butchered for their meat, as are rhino’s because of their horns, so many endangered species are still being hunted and nobody is doing anything about it. I think that the way that all of these animals are being treated is so terrible! People just don’t seem to understand that animals have feelings too, they don’t like being treated like they are right now. Animals have the same rights as humans and The World needs to way much more to respect them. So, what are you going to do?