Jazz+Poetic+Writing

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The Wide Misty Sea
Misty white fog gathering around the smooth rocks, Over-size rocks scatter out around the horizon, They feel as if they were smothered in sand.

The out-going smell of the deep brackish fog lingers in the dry air like smoked salmon, It remains spread out in the open atmosphere, The aroma of the damp moss expands throughout the salty sea.

Slimy coloured fish swim by, weaving in and out of the luscious jade seaweed, Sea creatures in the sea below bobble up and down with the foggy tide, Cautious fantails chatter about in the sky, merrily chirping to each other, in their own special language.

An intense Wind makes a loud ear-piercing sound, The old trees on the tide line make creaking noises in the piercing wind, Dry, rigid leaves feel as coarse as branches of an old oak tree, Yellow and gold sunlight gets poured out of the big blue sky, like pouring juice from a juice carton.

Sparkling sand shimmers down beneath the misty sea, As bright red crabs scuttle their way across the ocean bed, sand gets pushed around like a little girl on a swing.

As the day starts, the bright gold sun makes its way up into the ever-lasting sky.

The Wide Misty Sea (DRAFT)
Misty white fog gathering around the rigid rocks, Yellow and gold sunlight pouring out of the big blue sky, Gigantic sized pebbles scatter out around the horizon, Native green trees spread across the damp tide line.

The out-going smell of the deep brackish fog lingers in the dry air like smoked salmon, A strong salty smell remains spread out in the open atmosphere, The aroma of the damp moss expands through-out the salty sea.

Sea creatures in the sea below bobble up and down with the wide foggy tide, Native, colourful birds chatter about the sky, merrily chirping to each other, in their own special language, A strong intense wind makes a loud ear-piercing sound, The old trees on the tide line make creaking noises in the piercing wind.

Smooth rocks feel as if they were smothered in sand, Dry, rigid leaves ambience as coarse as branches of an old oak tree, A gentle breeze skimmer across the ever lasting heat of the summer morning, Slimy coloured fish swim by, weaving in and out of the luscious jade seaweed.

As the day starts, the bright gold sun makes its way up into the ever-lasting sky.

**Draft:** I think that for my draft, I tried to go to far with new words to make it sound good, but it just sounded over the top. At first I didn't understand the stanzas, and how we had to put it into the right stanzas. I thought that it was just paragraphs of smell, sight, touch and other senses. But I do get it now. I think that I did a good job on the finished copy. I found out how the stanzas were supposed to work, and put them into groups. I took away the words that were to big for what I was writing. And tried to make more sense in what I was doing. I enjoy doing poetic writing, even if I do suck at it. But if I keep listening to the teachers comments and keep practicing I will do better and get better results. Next time I will not put any words in that I only just found out by looking them up, but use good description words instead.
 * Reflection on Writing:**
 * Finished Product:**

Beauty
Hair as dark as chocolate, swaying and shining in Summer winds, perfect tan glimmering in the reflection of the bright sun, big brown eyes looking straight at you, Honesty is her best policy. She never once has told a lie! Beauty is her name; she spreads smiles over friends and family’s faces. She is brave, courageous and happy. Beauty is a Mother of Faith, Honesty, Inspiration, Creativity and Pleasure, Daughter of Wisdom and Power, and beautiful Wife to Courage. Beauty has many friends such as Perfection, Charm, Truth, Pleasure and Courage. Beauty only has a few enemies Anger, Pain, Jealousy, and Ugliness. Beauty like’s chocolate, ice cream, and other yummy sweet foods! She also likes hanging out with her friends and catching up on some gossip. She likes to wear a pair of silver earrings, and a gold wedding ring. Beauty wears such beautiful clothes that sparkle in the summer light. Beauty lives life to the full and never gives up; she is a good role model to others. Some of Beauty’s hobbies are clothes shopping, sports, such as netball and beach volleyball, and staying at home for peace ‘n’ quiet. Beauty will do anything to get her Beauty sleep and peace ‘n’ quiet!